So, here’s the thing. I love that people are living their best lives, and they shout from the roof tops that they are better now than ever before in their midlife, but let’s be honest, that’s about 10 per cent of the population.
While we need to be positive about perimenopause and menopause, it is imperative we are honest and that we share the good and definitely share the bad, because without doing that many women will feel isolated and alone, which can lead to serious health issues.
While I am all about positivity – I walk around with rose-tinted glasses on, always have – I am still about honesty. I never knew about half the things I am going through with my perimenopause.
Why? Because nobody talked about it.
Nobody wanted to discuss the negatives. The more we talk, the powerful we are, the more we are honest, the better we will feel. And yes, midlife is a great life, but bloody hell, it’s full of hot flushes, anxiety, itchy skin, wee leaks and many more. That’s just being honest, not negative (and if you don’t get any symptoms, you are so very lucky and I am bloody happy for you, and a tad envious!).
Let’s get one thing straight. It’s not negative to talk about what you are going through, it’s not negative to be honest about how you are feeling. All this shit about ‘being my best self’ and screaming from the roof tops about how good you feel on your Instagram feed, it’s great and if you are feeling amazing, I think that is fantastic, because some days I feel like that too, but not every day, and it but it can be damaging to pretend otherwise. Why, because 90 per cent of women don’t feel like that, and the pressure to be perfect is sickening.
Here’s the thing: Not every woman can get enough sleep. Why? Because she is the bread earner, she is working hard, she is time poor, not every woman can exercise non-stop, why, because she just doesn’t have time.
Before anyone says, “you need to make time”, the reality of this world, is some women don’t have that time. They don’t have the money to get help, they don’t have the resources and they are just tired, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Small changes can be made, eating healthier, following accounts that inspire you, feeling comfortable, taking even five minutes out (that is doable, but two hours to exercise for some women isn’t).
I think people tend to forget, most women in their 50s are working full time, they are not sitting around twiddling their thumbs prattling on about how wonderful life is.
So, here’s the thing, let’s be honest, let’s definitely share the good about getting older, because there is a shitload of it, but let’s be honest. It can be crap, it can be challenging, it can be confronting, but you know what the best thing is? We have a community on here at 50 So What who will support you however you feel.
It’s not a competition, it’s about support, it’s about honesty, it’s not about saying “look at me” it’s about saying “we’ve got this, we’ve got this together” because we’re all in it together.
Don’t be sucked in by those carefully curated images on the Instagram feed, because what you don’t see is the 50,000,000 pics, they took for that ‘seamless my-life-is-perfect’ shot.
Here’s to us, and never forget here at 50 So What, you can be you, you can be proud of being you, you will be supported no matter how you feel; great, sad, mad, hot, happy and everything in between.
We’ve got this.