Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Hormones…They’re Driving Me Nuts!

Be careful how you comment on this one: the author is on a knife edge!


My hormones are all over the show, driving me nuts, driving everyone else around me nuts.

I’ve got spots! WHAT, spots at my age?

I cry at the drop of the hat, I’m a tad emotional, the husband, the dog, small kids and even the neighbours are keeping a safe distance from the walking hormonal nutcase… when will this all end!

I went to see my dermatologist the other day – not for hormonal advice just for a little face freshener.

She is a gentle, wise older lady. I like to refer to her as the Dalai Lama of dermatology (she really has this calming, serene feel about her).

We were chatting away about a few things; I happen to mention a few hot flushes I was having, ‘Oh, you wait’, she said, then continued to part with her words of wisdom.

Here’s how she summed up life after 45 (these words from my Dalai Lama of dermatology were quite the shock!)

First you go through perimenopause, a few headaches, the odd flush, some tiny mood swings and the feeling of what the hell is going on.

Then it’s menopause and a whole new ball game and a roller-coaster of emotions.

Holy shit! What the f**k is happening to me?

It’s all-night sweats (I can still remember my Mum playing whale music all night in the vain hope it would help sooth her weary menopausal body – it didn’t’!), massive mood swings, aggression, dry vagina (say it isn’t so), low sex drive, migraines and so much more.

However, my lovely doctor said don’t worry, when your hormones settle down, life is good for a few years – we’ve made it, you’ve got through the worst.

Until a few years later, that is, and your bones get brittle, and you have to wear flats.

What! No heels? So you’re saying even though I’m 5ft 3, and need all the height I can get, I can also look forward to shrinking as I get older?

If I wasn’t feeling like shit after having my face pummeled with a laser, I sure was after that conversation.

So ladies, if you are a fellow walking talking hormonal mess, don’t fear – you are not alone.  We can all sweat and scream together.

It it’s too bad (and those hormones are getting the better of you) make an appointment with your doctor, try meditation, yoga, boxing (I think a very good option to get that aggression out) and take care of yourself.  But do take comfort, you are not alone.

If you are a male reading this, I wouldn’t be so smug, because I hear through the grapevine you too can go through your very own male menopause…


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