Let’s be frank: Not every day will be a good day and that’s okay

a good day with a friend
Being with friends always helps

Some days will be 100% shitty, crappy, sad, miserable, downright bloody horrible, and that is okay too.

We’re going through a life change; it’s normal to feel a bit confused, and let’s face it, that face staring back at us in the mirror is changing (well, mine is anyway) and the body looking back at us in the mirror is constantly challenging us.

Hello gas, lumps and bumps, extra hair, flooding, sweating, bloating…. the list goes on!

Coming into midlife, or in midlife, can be a confusing time. While I definitely tend to lean on the more positive side of life (hello, rose-tinted glasses – not always the best way), it certainly doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with the crap days.

Some days I want to stay home, hair up, pj’s on and I definitely don’t want to face the world. Those days I feel down, bloated, spotty, emotional, no energy, grumpy and just horrible, they happen. I’m human, no one is immune to them.

I get a lot of messages mainly from women 47 – late 50s, talking about how they are feeling, what’s happening with their hormones, and this time of life. Some are depressed, others are like me, downright confused.

I always say, if you don’t feel great, you don’t need to put up with it. Discuss how you are feeling with a bloody good doctor, preferably a female, who has or is going through perimenopause or menopause, and who specialises in it. You don’t have to put up with feeling shit all the time.

Feeling crap every now and again is normal, those days come and they pass, but feeling shit constantly is not normal, and it’s okay to seek help.

It could be as simple as a lifestyle change, a change in your eating habits (I have IBS so I had to change what I ate), or it could be you are a great candidate for HRT.

It’s all a personal choice, but just know you are not alone and there is help if you need it or want it.

What works for me

  • I ride out the bad days, I know they will happen and I know that the next day will be better. I don’t fight the bad days, I roll with them. When I’m bloated, sore and miserable, I make sure I drink lots of water (sounds silly but it works for me), I try and eat well, but if I don’t, I’m not hard on myself, because I know it will pass. It always does.
  • For me, I have to exercise, not excessively, but getting out and getting fresh air, going for a walk, hitting my home gym (because I’m not a fan of those big gyms, just not me), going to the beach, or just moving, it works for me, both mentally and physically. Do what makes you feel good.

    Beach walks always help
  • Mentally if I’m struggling, I’ll talk to someone, either a family member or a friend, and if I think I need more, I’ll head to a professional. Basically, I put my needs first, I recognise a bad day from a ‘I need help’ day and I make sure I take action.

With any health problems, stay on top of them, get your annual checks done, and don’t ignore any niggling pains. You are in control, and by taking control you will feel better.

Sometimes it’s easier to wallow in the pain and self-pity. It’s okay to do that for a day or so, but no longer. Get moving, get talking, do something just for you and most of all put yourself first. I know that sounds selfish, but its not. Because if you are okay, others will be too.

Here’s to taking the stigma out of feeling like shit, it happens. We’re in this together, and if anyone wants to share how they are feeling, just email me at jo@50sowhat.com.au. It’s okay, I’m always happy to hear from you. As a community we can help support each other.

Here’s to embracing our stage in life with a laugh, empathy, kindness, understanding and yes, the odd wine, cheese and chocolate if that what it takes!

Here’s to us, through the good days and the bad x

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