Talking hormones: Where the hell has my sex drive gone?!

Talking hormones: Where the hell has my sex drive gone?!

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s about time we had an honest, open and frank discussion about one of the last remaining taboos when it comes to hormone issues, and that’s your sex drive, or lack thereof.

If you are either going through perimenopause or menopause you may have noticed a change in your sex drive or your ability to have sex due to dryness.

Yes, it’s an uncomfortable subject, but one I’m more than happy to talk about. I come from a long line of over-sharers and a family within the medical industry – nothing seems to be off-bounds.

My sister suffered from a very dry vagina after she went through menopause, which made sex extremely uncomfortable for her, and her sex drive just plummeted. I’ve noticed that lately I just can’t be bothered.

My sex drive is on holiday, a long one. It seems it’s packed its bags and done a runner, never to return.

Look, to be fair I wasn’t exactly a nymphomaniac, far from it, but it was nice to feel connected. But the excitement has just gone. Yes, it’s the lower hormone levels, and yes, I am 100% going to get it checked out.

I feel guilty, because the poor hub suffers. I swear to god, when I see the bed the only action, I am thinking about is a good book, my pj’s – poor bastard – and sleep. It’s not helped by my hormones, which drive me (and no doubt him) nuts.

I’m moody, bloated, and my stomach constantly feels like there is a freight train running through it and I feel jiggly. I was once nice and toned, but lately I feel like I’ve gone to custard.

The only action I am I getting is heading to the freezer and devouring ice-cream; it’s vegan, so surely those calories don’t count (yes, I am delusional as well). Help – I’m turning into a midlife Bridget Jones.

Yes, I’ve turned into a midlife Bridget Jones…

Note to self – have more willpower, treats are fine, but not every five seconds.

I did an Instagram post on this, and there were a lot of women in the same situation. The most common issues where they couldn’t’ talk about it, or felt too embarrassed to discuss it. They felt isolated.

That’s why it’s good to talk about it, share information on what can be done. The vagina vitamin, as my sister calls it, worked wonders for her.

You need to see your doctor, as it’s not right for everyone, but if you feel down about it, talk about it.

However, there is one positive about this hormone business, and I’ve been reassured by women that have gone through it and come out the other side, that it gets better. It’s liberating, no more periods, no more worrying about of that. I’m looking forward to it, because there has to be a silver lining, and for me that’s it.

Let’s celebrate this time in our lives, and when it gets tough and frustrating and our sex drive packs up, let’s talk about it. Laugh and share how we are feeling.

It’s normal, you are normal and it’s okay.

Now, I’m off to see about this vagina vitamin…

The co-founder of 50SoWhat has been in publishing for most of her working life. She was general manager of successful boutique media publishing house in New Zealand for several years and boasts an impeccable sales, marketing and management background. When she’s not road-testing the latest cosmetic procedures, or investigating the hottest lifestyle, travel, fashion and beauty trends for over 45’s, Jo is often back home catching up with family and friends, or working on her golf swing!


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