My perimenopause and menopause journey has certainly had its ups and downs

I am happy my hubby has been by my side and supports me in anything l want to try.

From the moment l got my period at 14 years old, l was sick, vomiting, on really strong pain medications and taking so much time off school.

I remember my gorgeous mum taking me to the doctor’s and the doctor suggested going on the pill, as it would fix it all (this was a very common practice back then).

Well, it didn’t.

l continued to be sick every month. I remember seeing a gynecologist who told me once l had children my periods will be normal. To double-check everything was okay, I had a few procedures to check around in my insides and was told all was normal.

l got married and had two amazing children. It took me 18 months to conceive my first child and a month to conceive my second. After having children I was still going through hell every month, so l went back to my gynecologist and very clearly stated that I can’t do this any more. I can’t be sick every month, I can’t be vomiting and I can’t not feel well, as l have two children to look after and I need to work. l was only 29 years old at the time. I was advised to have a hysterectomy, which I did and they left my ovaries in.

l finally got my life back and l was told l would go through perimenopause early then menopause. l was around 40 years old and it all started – night sweats, grumpy, not sleeping up and down in my moods, weight gain and I was extremely depressed for years. To be honest l just put up with as l didn’t want to feel like a hypochondriac.

By 2017 my hubby said l should go back to the doctor and get my bloods checked. By this time l was 49 years old at that stage. l had all the blood tests done and was told I was in menopause.

l was so grumpy and my moods were up and down our intimacy non-existent. l thought l was overweight and didn’t like what l saw in the mirror, so l assumed that my hubby felt the same way too, so l pushed him away.

My doctor put me on hormone replacement and after trialing a few medications l got one that was perfect for me and life was getting back to normal. Our intimacy was getting better, l loved what l saw in the mirror and was loving life.

Fast forward to 2019 and l was feeling off, tired, exhausted and fatigued.

l went to the doctors as l have a thyroid disease called Hashimoto’s disease. l had my thyroid out in 2001, which also plays a big part in your body with your hormones.

l am now on medication for the rest of my life so the blood tests kept coming back with ‘Does your patient have CCL Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia?’

l had to have more blood tests, ultrasound, bone marrow biopsy, CT scan, where it had progressed to NHL Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. l had to start chemo in 2020 and you can’t take your hormone replacement so l have been off them since I started the treatment.

Oh my goodness, the night sweats.  Fan on, fan off. Changing pj’s due to sweating, grumpy, not sleeping, feeling depressed, losing my temper for no reason. Poor hubby. Intimacy is non-existent, yet  again. I felt like I was back to square one.

I didn’t feel attractive and l was overweight. l have put on 10kg, which l am trying to lose – my medications are not helping. I can’t go back on my hormone replacement as l am still taking chemo medications.

So to deal with my menopause meltdowns l try and be kind to myself and l am slowly getting in more exercise, watching what l eat. Doing my best not to get cranky at my hubby, and getting our intimacy back on track.

It’s a shit journey for women going through perimenopause and menopause. l still have numerous health issues which l am going through. I am happy my hubby has been by my side and supports me in anything l want to try with menopause.

I wished l had learnt more and what to expect when going through perimenopause and menopause.

I am turning 53 years old in May.